We can all agree on the healing aspect of a beautiful love story but why is the erotica so prevalent? Here's how I see it. Men have a straight shot to their libido. Women don’t. Women's passion and libido are put through a lens and analyzed for appropriateness. It’s essentially filtered. Undoubtedly, centuries of conditioning and expectations put on us to be perfect in every way to every person in our lives that our connection to our bodies and our libido is lost through theses filters. 

Erotica accomplishes a few things for the female brain. It rewires the brain, reconnects you to your body and rejuvenates your sexual energy. The stories, invariably, encourages women to take charge of their life and their pleasure. Erotic Romance helps access another source of energy that meds and supplements will never get for you. And it's about taking time for yourself and think about your inner diva. 
 
So don’t feel bad for reading it. Your lover doesn’t need to feel bad either. Men use porn as an outlet, women use Erotic Romance to reconnect to their senses and energize. It’s not an affront to anyone it’s just acknowledging your sexual self.
 
There's a character in Spicy Tales From Grace, Daniella, who is a boudoir photographer. I was introducing her, and her story started to bloom in my mind. She has a mission of her own and I think you will enjoy it. But while her story took hold, I could see the value of a boudoir photography session.
 
I decided to try another avenue for connecting to and enjoying my body. A boudoir photography session. I highly recommend it if you can do that safely. 
 
The reason why is because we look harshly at ourselves, through the lens of media hype. We are told there is only one correct body type, one definition of beauty. When what is so beautiful about women is our curves in all the various forms we come in. 

I don’t believe it’s perfection that makes you beautiful but that curve you most enjoy. That feature that is so you. The battle scars you’ve collected over the years, and the strength you show when you look someone in the eyes. 
 
A good photographer can help you see what’s beautiful about you. You don’t have to be naked, and many photographers have options on the state of undress you are most comfortable with. But if you can, push yourself to your limits. Lingerie is a great start. Every woman needs a little black book of her sexiest poses and favourite lingerie or dresses. 

If you decide to give it a try, do your research. I decided to go with someone local to me that had extensive photos of their studio and many different women with different body types, showcased on her website. My thoughts were that someone who had a private studio, invested and spent a considerable amount of time on their craft. Having many different models told me she had experience and the trust of her clients. Personal recommendations would be another great source, of course, but if one wasn’t available to you, you can be the start of the information trail for your close friends and maybe even family. 

I showed up to the studio and there was a makeup artist ready to do my makeup. This was so that the makeup photographed well, but it also gave me a chance to get to know the photographer I was about to undress for. We talked, I had a mimosa, and it had a spa like atmosphere.
 
Afterwards we went through my wardrobe choices and discussed the type of photography shoot I wanted and how she works. So, with everything discussed and decided, I went to put on my first piece. I wasn’t sure how I'd feel about it, considering how much I value my privacy, but it was surprisingly easy. I liked the setting and saw a lot of possibilities, so I went with it. We shot for over almost two hours with 4 different outfits, and I felt good about it the whole time. 
 
Finding a good photographer will be important. Don't go with a fly-by-night photographer, for your safety, privacy and to receive a quality product. It's hard when there isn’t someone you can get a personal referral from, but it is possible. I did research on photographers in my area. I wanted to go where I was familiar with the area but not too close to home. Go to bridal shows or other local conventions and shows where you can meet photographers and view their work. Review local news outlets for their annual People’s Choice Awards. This will be an investment, so the leg work will be worth it. 

7 things were important to me, but you should consider what is on the top of your list of considerations. Refences, dedicated studio, extensive portfolio, an interview, reasonable deposit, make-up artist, friendly and open nature.

1. References readily available and confirmed.

2. A private, dedicated studio. The photographer I selected had several scene-like settings and even the option for some outdoor photography in the right season and weather. Waiting in the hallway of a Condo for my sitting appointment was NOT going to be an option for me. I would have been fine with an appointment at my house but not everyone has that option for themselves. 

3. Portfolio of their work, with different body types. The percentage of the population with an ectomorph physique is only 3%. So, if this is all they’re good at shooting, they are not the photographer for you.
 
4. Agreeable to a personal on-phone or in-person interview. Stay away from anyone who will only book through texting or emails.
 
5. Reasonable sitting deposit fee and payment plan. If someone wants all the fees upfront before you’ve even met them, run the other way. A small deposit fee, with a balance at the time of the sitting and the remainder to be paid when the photos are ready is a reasonable payment structure. 

6. The photographer I saw also worked with a professional makeup artist (to ensure that makeup presented well for the photos). The fees for this may also be part of the upfront costs. 

7. Lastly, a friendly open nature was important to me. This is the first time I tried this; the only time I've been around anyone half nude (besides wearing a bathing suit) and it has a cost to this so why would I want to deal with someone who irritates me or makes me question whether I will be happy with my photos? So be selective ladies, and don’t apologize for it.
 
Maybe you have a friend getting started and needs to build a portfolio. That will be an excellent opportunity for you both, as well. But it’s okay to ensure your friend has adequate equipment and cyber security. If you find a photographer that you are not familiar with, be sure to take precautions like bringing a friend (they don’t have to be in the shoot but close by) and letting someone know where you are going. Sorry, I know all you fine women reading this know how to take care of yourself but the mother in me NEEDS to say it. Wink. 

So be an unapologetic woman. Have some fun, find new ways to view yourself and your curves. Your body will thank you. And happy reading.